The longer that I am a Mom, the more I learn about phases. Kids go through lots of phases . . . whiney phases, Mommy-obsessed phases, fit phases, and on and on. I know that whatever phase we're going through, it will eventually end and normal life will return. Lincoln has been going through a "scream and cry in my bed when Mommy leaves my room at night" phase for over a month. He's always been great with the bedtime routine, and he's always been a great sleeper. This latest phase is NOT fun for any of us. After a few weeks of ridiculous screaming that lasted for 5-10 minutes, followed by 5-10 minutes of sad crying, followed by 5-10 minutes of lots of happy singing, I decided we needed to do something! I hated sitting by the monitor listening to Lincoln's drama, only to then listen to him singing silly songs until he fell asleep. Last Wednesday we instituted our first chart . . . surely stickers can cure anything right??? The promise of a trip to the toy store when he earned the required amount of stickers was super enticing! He was immediately thrilled with the chart and was so eager to behave right away so he could get stickers. I think he cleaned the playroom and his bedroom 5 times the first night! I decided that Beau needed a chart too - just so Linc could have a little comparison or even engage in a little sibling rivalry if Beau's stickers surpassed his. Ok, by night two we still hadn't seen any progress in the screaming/crying in the bed, but we pressed on.
One full week of the sticker chart made for lots of stickers for Linc, but not one single sticker in the row of "no screaming or crying in my bed". I really did notice that the sticker threat/reward worked in the sharing/taking turns with Beau row, the eating a healthy meal row, and the mind Mommy and Daddy row. We just weren't making any progress in the one row that was the whole point of this exercise! Beau gets lots of stickers because he never cries in his bed and is much better at minding! (I'm sure that will change, and I'll be charting once again when he's three!) The whole sibling rivalry thing was not at all important to Linc . . . maybe I'll be thankful of that at some point, but I guess I thought that was a sure thing!
So I was a little disappointed in the first effort but decided to give the chart method one more week. Today we debuted fresh new charts and new stickers. The goals are the same, and I really worked hard to get Lincoln to understand that the one row of "no screaming or crying in my bed" needs some attention. I'm so happy to report that on our first night of the new sticker chart, everyone got a full column of stickers!!!! I usually let Linc pick the stickers and place them himself, but I couldn't wait! I hope he is as proud as I am when I wake him tomorrow. He'll love that a Razorback sticker marks his first success for no crying!
I think I need to disclose one more detail that may have been relevant. Lincoln gets to sleep with his pillow, blanket and an appliqued Mickey Mouse little pillow (from Auntie) each night, and he's always been ok with that. I added a Mickey Mouse book that could sleep under his pillow, and I think that was the magic that calmed him. I told him that Mickey, Donald and Goffy (on the cover) weren't crying because I was leaving the room, so he shouldn't either. He said ok! (I gave him the book last night too, but it didn't work.) Whatever led to him being calm is a blessing to us all. I can't only post pictures of charts because those aren't cute. Linc did great at his swimming lesson tonight! They began working on a new skill, and he really started to get the hang of it. He loves Ms. Kerin and loves to swim!
I'm hoping there are a lot of stickers and not a lot of crying in our future, but I know that life is made up of lots of phases that pass in their own time. I guess a month of crying at bedtime is a drop in the bucket in the whole scheme of life. I'm thankful for the progress, but I guess I have to be on the alert for the next phase!!!
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